Life Update [6th August - 4th Sept]
Hi everyone and Asalam-o-alaikum!
I just popped two pills of Panadol like an hour ago and I felt like I had enough energy to sit and type. I've been down for 5 days now, with finally a diagnosis and treatment. Because of the status of my health and several important commitments, I've been really behind on the blog, the PR packages, instagram and everythinggg.. (everyone that has sent me PR packages is suuupppperrr annoyed with me right now lol, cause I literally have a pile at home and I've been doing nothing about it!) Anyway, here are a couple of life updates:
AFTER MY TRIP TO KARACHI:
On our last night in Karachi, which was also the night of a family valima, we had a tragic death in the same side of the family. My mother in law flew to America immedietely and the rest of us (sister in law, nieces, husband, father in law) flew back to Islamabad. We had a rough night and by the time we landed, Muzamil and I were running on 30 hours of no sleep. When we got home, my father in law fell seriously ill and without getting any rest, I rushed him to the hospital. I told Muzamil to sleep because one of us had to be well rested later in case we need to switch roles. It was a horrible day. I ran between counters while my father in law was in serious pain. I had tears rolling down my face because I felt SO terrible about his pain and just wanted to solve his problem. I was overly sensitive because everything in that situation reminded me of my own father and because I hadn't slept in 36 hours. After going to two different hospitals, a million different counters, arranging medication, filling forms, and getting his tests/appointments done, I only felt better once his problem was solved and we found a good doctor. Thankfully, I brought him back home at night and we slept. Three days into it, I had started prepping for my Azaadi Dinner, when FIL fell seriously sick again. Muzamil and I took him to the hospital to find out he had developed a serious infection and will need IV medication. But that wasn't the end of it. To make things worse, my house helper had an emergency and decided to leave. It was the worst. No MIL. NO house help. FIL seriously ill. My own mother in London. An approaching exhibition for Inspire Me and the Azaadi Dinner. I was losing my mind. First things first, we cancelled the dinner. We completely and entirely focused on my father in law and his health. Muzamil took time off work because we had to take responsibility of all domestic chores and FIL's health together. Through this entire time, the pressure was building up and Muzamil and I argued a lot even though we were each others greatest support as well. Unfortunately, a month before all this, I had committed to an exhibition for Inspire Me and had to prepare for it. I only started preparing for it the night before at 2 am and did the entire thing on my own as Muzamil needed to be with his father, and literally everyone else I asked for help couldn't, because of one reason or another, be there. Lekin koi baat nai, kyunkay Alhamdullilah, it went pretty well. :) As time passed, things started to settle and got better. My father in law was alright now. When the worst had passed, when Eid was over and when things were finally alright, first my mom came back, then the house helper came back, and finally a couple of days ago, my mother in law came back. PHEW!
Unfortunately, I haven't been able to catch a breath at all. The day that my mother in law came back, I fell ill AND had to start working at a hospital. I guess it's great that it started after she came back, but its not so great because I didn't get a break at all. I work there 6 days a week and have fallen ill simultaneously. Getting back to a skill I've been so out of touch with is definitely a challenge. There is always fear of failure, fear of being judged and a lack of confidence but nothing is the end of the world. Ho jaye ga. Ho jata hay. I'm giving myself time and space to learn, and forgiving myself for any mistakes. So far I like the people and environment and I feel excited about working here! :D
On Thursday night, I started feeling a pain in my throat and woke up on Friday with full blown flu like symptoms. I assumed it was just another viral flu that will go away on it's own so I went about my day casually. By evening, I felt extremely sick but one of my closest friends was getting married and I just had to make it to the wedding. So I did. The next day at work was spent looking at patients, one after another. I wasn't feeling good at all and couldn't wait for the day to end. When the day ended, I got home only to find mehmaan over, which means I went straight into the kitchen for all that khaatir daari. Once the guests left, I thought this was finally over :P but little did I know friends, little did I know.. My mother in law told me we were having a dinner at our house for some kareebi rishtedaar that were going back to Lahore tomorrow and said she was going to do some cooking and prepare for the dinner. But I knew that my mother in law was absolutely jet lagged, horribly short on sleep and EXHAUSTED. So I told her to just go to sleep and leave the dinner to me (hero bannay ka shauk bachpan say hay). I cooked, prepped for and hosted the dinner, and then finally crashed. Ab zahir hay when I WOKE UP ON SUNDAY (the next morning) I was FEELING HORRRIIIIDDDD. WHEN WAS THIS FLU GOING AWAY? I felt like MY THROAT WAS ON FIRE - FIRRRRREEEE! I made an impulsive call to ammi and told her to take me home, because I knew that as long as I stayed at my in-laws, I'll keep trying to be the super hero I'm not. So I went to ammi's, rested in and expected to be fresh as a peach the next morning. But next morning was no better. I felt like crying (no jokes). My colleagues and seniors encouraged me to see a doctor and take a short leave because I was killing myself. My doctor informed me politely that I was crazy. Pagal hain aap. What are you doing at work? He said my tonsils are as inflamed as HOT AIR BALLOONS and that I should go home and rest, lol. By this time I couldn't swallow ANYTHING (not even my own salivaa), had a 101 fever, and was in excruciating pain. It only kept getting worse to the point that this morning, I woke up at 6 am, screaming and crying because of the pain and the inability to swallow and breathe. (Poor Muzamil. Freaked out and did what he could). The rest of today has pretty much been this way and only right about now, after finally starting the appropriate medication, I feel a bit better Alhamdullilah. I think it's all thanks to aap ki duaain and pyar, but to be honest I think its mostly the medication. :p
Father in law had a minor surgery today. Prior surgery, I've been taking him to the hospital, and have been in charge of his entire process: medication, appointments, reports, everything. It makes me kind of sad that I'm not being able to be around him at this point when I have been there throughout before. (Not sure if I've ever mentioned on the blog before how attached I feel to him, and how much I adore him). Anyway InshAllah he'll be back home soon, tish tosh and well. Remember to keep me, him and the rest of my family in your prayers.
The only thing I'm fully capable of doing currently is writing. I have lost my voice entirely and can't do anything that involves getting out of bed. Khair, I think these are enough life updates for now. I hope this long story time didn't bore you. Please leave feedback so I know if I should do more of these. Sharing things with you definitely makes me feel better! <3 Now I'm going to go and enjoy my ammi's daal chawal that she just made for me. Hopefully this food shall go down my throat. Talk again soon!
Lots of love and Positive Vibes Only.